The Scent of Rain
by 0llie-Unknown
Summary: She's lost everything, yet it's all still there. Her paws touch the ground, fitting into a path perfectly, yet she cannot recall ever trekking it before. She hears words laced with emotion, eyes glowing with feeling, and a sweet scent she only knows in her dreams. She doesn't know who, or why, but what she does is that she is in love with a cat that she thinks she's never met.
1. Allegiances

**The Scent of Rain** **  
** **By Ebonyfire**

Allegiances:

Ruinclan:

Leader: Owlstar- A brown tom with darker speckles, blue eyes, and a grey underside.

Deputy: Snowleaf- A white tom with dark green eyes.

Medicine Cat: Tigerfall- An ginger tabby with amber eyes.

Warriors:

Fleetstrike\- A white tom with grey stripes and grey eyes.  
Darkice\- A black tom with blue eyes.  
Thrushthorn\- A brown tabby tom with amber eyes.  
Venomspot\- A brown tom with black tabby markings and green eyes.  
Crookedthicket\- A grey tom with brown eyes and a crooked tail.  
Gorsestripe\- A brown tom with lighter stripes and amber eyes.  
Greytalon\- A dark grey tom with white patches and amber eyes.  
Heavydust\- A grey tom with brown rings on tail and brown ears with blue eyes.  
Shadewing\- A dark grey and black tom with amber eyes.

She-cats:

Gingerbreeze\- A ginger she-cat with amber eyes.  
Meadowpool\- A light brown she-cat with blue eyes.  
Sageflower\- A grey she-cat with green eyes.  
Ashstream\- A dark grey she-cat with one black streak own her back. -original name: Sootheart  
Violetdawn\- A pale grey she-cat with pale amber eyes and white paws.

Elders:

Strongstorm\- A dark grey, almost black, tom with blue eyes and brown stripes.  
Oakflame\- A ginger tom with green eyes.

The Ill:

Rainpetal-  
A light brown tabby she-cat with darker stripes, a white chest, and blue eyes.


	2. 1- The Numb

Prologue: 

Everything. Everything. Is nothing.

I can hear birds, their song is tender, delicate like their feathers.

I feel grass, but it's not grass, it's soft like a queen's underfur.

Like a kit pressing it's face into the protection of their mother.

I can open my eyes, I feel her presence, her warm breath on my shoulders.

My head is on her shoulders too, but it isn't her, she's made of light, she smells of lilacs.

I'm touching her, but she isn't there, but she's warm, like the air.

I'm barely breathing, I don't need to.

I'm in the in-between, with a little bit of everything.

And all of the nothing.

The ground is like cotton, I'm barely on it, I can barely feel it.

Everything is weightless, the petals are in the air, but there is no breeze.

I hear the slight babble of a stream; I can clearly see the cool water though it's not there.

The golden grass we are in, in a field, is flowing in a non-existent breeze.

It's so slow, like my heart beat.

The birds, they slowly fade away, and all there is, is my heartbeat.

So quiet.

So gentle.

So slow, like this world.

Light dances in my vision, I can feel the calm vibration of her purr, but she has no voice.

But I know what she sounds like.

She's like the birds.

She's like the lilacs and the petals.

I know her, but I don't.

She's like the water to me, so clear, and yet so warm.

She's like sunlight on my fur.

This calm world she lives in.

I'm numb all over.

The kind of numb that is peace, where you can feel on the edge, and your warm.

Your happy.

Though the world is so slow, above me in the pale blue sky the clouds drift by.

All the colors are pale, they're soft, this world is soft, this world is calm.

I don't want to think, just feel.

Feel the numb, the warm, the scent of lilacs and honey, the sunlight, her.

I want _her_.

She is this world though, so I mustn't think.

And let the numb take over.


	3. 2- Fading Away

Chapter 1:

I can feel the warm, the calm, it's slipping away like water through my paws.

 _No!_ Please, I don't want it to go! Everything, it's melting like frost against a warm breath. I can feel my heartbeat grow, it's pounding in my ears, has it always been so loud? I suck in air, it fills my lungs, but it hurts. Oh goodness. _Pain_. The numb is leaving me, and every breath, every heartbeat, it's painful.

 _No, no-no-no!_ I feel cold, cold flooding into my limbs, my chest feels like it has stones piled on top of it. _Stones?_ Something about the thought… I- I don't know. I can feel the pressure of gravity on me now, the hard ground beneath me, more pain is flooding through me. I feel the agonizing jolts rattle in my legs, in my bones, my skin feels sore. I'm sore everywhere.

Suddenly the silence turns into sounds, and pandemonium ensues. The sharp sound of pebbles clattering down stone. _Stone._ The loud yowls of cats reverberating around my head. It's so strong, but they sound far off, like they are away from me. And the ringing. The ringing that doesn't end.

The voices… they sound familiar somehow. But… how? …it escapes me. They don't sound familiar anymore, why did I think that? I don't- I don't know. They sound, upset… angry… panicked. Why? What is-

Oh goodness. Oh Starclan the pain. It hurts so bad.

Starclan? Yes… Starclan. Starclan is our ancestors. M-my ancestors? …Whose?

I'm so confused.

But I can't think, this pain is overwhelming, and the numb. It's gone now. She's gone. Why am I so sad? I'm crying, but not from the pain. This sorrow, is it mine? I'm not crying? Whose crying? I feel sadness, is it my own? Yes… wait no. I feel the despair not only from me, but from another. They keep asking me questions… I can't- I can't answer. It all hurts too much. I cannot open my eyes, my paws twitch but it only sends more pain. But the most pain… is in my head. My head is screaming, or is it the ringing? I feel the aching flame in every pulse. This is agony.

And she's gone now.

The calm is dead, and all that is left is pain.

I- I'm-

I'm so confused.


	4. 3- Confusion

Chapter 2:

There was blackness for a long while, a void of nothing.

This wasn't the nothing that was the calm, that was the numb, for the pain was still there. It was like a beast, gnawing at the edge of the darkness with its back teeth, eyes glowing and waiting for the blackness to leave so that the pain may take over again. It was frightening.

For now, I wait, there was no ground but I wasn't weightless. The dull aching of the beast was still there, and there wasn't peace. But now the tide had receded from the shore, and the frothing ocean of agony was only barely sloshing coldly at my ankles. For now.

I soon feel the darkness dissipating, but the beast only inched closer, and there was numbness. No- not the warm numbness, like napping in sunshine on a warm day, mind nowhere, but a kind of forced numbness, that made you feel helpless, not safe.

Without the pain I feel courage, and I was stronger. I move my forelegs a bit, pulling them closer, I knew they were splayed out in front of me. I suddenly became sharply aware, though only from my other senses, for my body was aching and numb, and nothing more. I faintly feel a plushy nest beneath me, and I can hear the faint murmur of voices. On my back, there was warmth. I relax, feeling relief that the numb was so close, and waited for it to hold me in its light. But that didn't happen, for it moved, I felt the rising and falling of someone's breath. This wasn't the numb- someone was there, back against mine.

Who?

 _I haven't got a clue_.

With this slight nerve, now that the pain has blunted, I open my eyes, and the world attacked my vision. The light pierced my eyes, I blinked repeatedly, and once it faded colors soon fill around me. I'm sprawled on a bed of moss, my chestnut colored legs are wrapped in leaves and sticky with poultice. I have a feeling if I turn my head I will see that my body looks similar. There are gashes that are sealed shut with sap and binds, I'm worried, why am I so harmed?

My jaws open, and a rush of scents surge in. The tang of herbs, the dampness of moss, the scent of rain on the breeze. I feel a jolt inside- I don't know why. Why does rain make me want to do something? What is that I feel I must do? I ignore it, but an ache in my chest makes me feel as though I should not. What else is there?... Cats… Bark… Fresh Grass… and the scent of lilacs. Just faintly, but there. I wonder why, is she here? She couldn't be, she lives in the calm, the numb, not here. Not here.

But why am I yearning for her?

That tug in my chest, that's it…right? Or is the wanting of the numb, and the warm, for here it is so cold.

Ah yes, cold. I _am_ cold. I shift in the nest, instinctively trying to snuggle closer the warm cat on my back, even though I don't know who. What kind of cat would do that? I- I don't-

The stranger is awakened by my movement, I feel the warm being get up, leaving my back slowly cooling into the air. I close my eyes and settle my head, if only they didn't leave, I just don't want to be cold. But they didn't, I feel them standing there, crouched over me- I open my eyes.

Oh Starclan.

She's _beautiful._

She looks over me, her fur a pale grey-cream like a turtle dove, her eyes the color of the sky at sunrise. I can tell myself that I have seen other cats like her, but there was just something that made her glow. She was different.

Wait- what other cats _do I know_? I can't answer that, it- it hurts my head.

"Rainpetal?" her mew is like honey, smooth and somehow golden. It's like a feeling. The stranger says this, and somehow I'm calm. Is she a spirit? How would another affect me like this?

"Rainpetal!" she's purring; her smile is gentle like a petal- wait- Rainpetal. What is that?

"W-what?" I manage to meow, but it's a lot harder than I thought, the angel-like she-cat seems overjoyed by my response.

"Tigerfall! Come quickly! She's woken up!" Tigerfall… is that a name? I seem to register it as one, but why? Was Rainpetal a name? Or was she talking about something else? I'd- I don't know.

A ginger tabby hobbles in quickly, he walks strangely, and his muzzle is flecked white with age. He leans over me, and unlike the she-cat, he smells of bitter herbs and unhappiness. If unhappiness smelled like bitter herbs- which it probably does.

"Has she made a cognitive response?" he doesn't take his gaze off me as he asks this in a raspy voice, it's slightly uncomfortable and I shift in my bedding.

"Y-yes, she has!" every word from this she-cat seems to spill out with relief, her eyes are sparkling with the emotion.

"Very well," he- or- Tigerfall steps away and grabs a few bundles of leaves, "Go get her mother, she'll be glad to know of this. We'll need you both to question her."

"Why?" she retorted to him, impatience in her expression, "Look- she's fine! Everything is okay now, why stress Rainpetal in this state?"

"Just go get Meadowpool and do it," he grunted, "She has quite an impressive head wound, she could be suffering brain damage after the rockslide. Rainpetal could be fine, yes, but we should check."

The sweet-smelling she-cat gave him a frustrated look, but turned around and rushed away through a path in the bushes. I wish I could have gone after her, but my limbs seemed to tell me they couldn't support my weight in this state by their constant aching. The tom returned over and instructed me to eat a whole lot of herbs. I took the first one and chewed it carefully, and sweet goodness it tasted terrible! I gagged, half a second more and I would have spat it up, but the old cat noticed this.

"Eat it and swallow it quickly," he coughed, "But don't choke. And if you won't eat them then I'll force them down your throat myself," I didn't want to test his threat, so I swallowed down the rest much faster. And though I had something in my stomach, I suddenly felt overwhelmingly hungry.

"I need to e-eat," I muttered, why am so quiet? I didn't mean to be. It must be because I'm in this weak state. Why am I so weak? A fox? Badger? I think he said something about a wound- my wound? I'm having a hard time processing their words though, something about rocks and heads and mothers… It's all a little much for me. I don't know, maybe this 'Meadowpool' can give me some answers.

"You'll eat soon, just wait," the elderly tom even seemed pleased by my asking. What was this? Were they expecting me to be a mute?

A few moments after, the lovely she-cat returned with, what I must assume, was Meadowpool. I laid down my head, my vision wavered slightly. I don't feel all too well, the world is now just a little… hazy.

The light brown she-cat rushed over to me, Meadowpool leaned down to give me a lick on my forehead- just like that. Taken off guard, I reel back my head, and it throbs painfully in return. The older cat looks down a me with hurt and confusion in her blue eyes- I wonder if perhaps this is a way of greeting? No. Way too personal. Not until I at least know her a little, she hasn't even said a word to me! Speaking of which-

"R-Rainpetal? What's wrong? Um- well, sorry, you must be very tired- I guess. I'm g-glad you're okay," Meadowpool still seems upset at my reaction though she apologizes. Well I-

Ergh- my head is _hammering_. It's even hurting behind my eyes; I don't think I've ever had a headache this bad. Have I? I- ouch. Can't think about it- my whole brain is in pain.

I look over, eyes narrowed from my headache, I see that Tigerfall seems to look -what?- suspicious? Maybe worried? A little shocked? He's hard to read- or it may be may my blurred vision and strained eyes, actually I'm beginning to feel n-nauseous. It's painful, now I can barely feel my aching limbs or burning gashes, my head pain is drowning it all out. I'm getting a- a- a little light headed actually…

The elderly ginger tom strides up to me, eyeing me- surely he can tell I'm burnt out? I need food- though on second thought- maybe just some rest. Or a lot of it.

"You two," he says in a low voice, "Do what we planned- just go slowly," I watch as the females both nod, and take the time to settle my head and rest my vision, and the pulsing aching seems to dull only in the slightest.

"Rainpetal, look at me," I want to tell them I'd like not too, but I'm very tired at this point- and I'd rather not spoil any chances to become friends with that majestic she-cat. I open my heavy eyes, and lift my chin, and to my reward the stranger gives me a kind smile.

"Alright," she begins, and the two females sit down in front of me, "Firstly, what's your name?"

I'm silent.

W-what did she just ask?

I, I-

"She's really tired," the female glares at Tigerfall, but when she looks at me I only see patience in her eyes, she speaks slow and gently, "Let me repeat that. What's your name? I know- this is silly, but we just taking the extra precautions. It's an easy one," she gives me a considerate expression, full of tender caring. I can't wonder about it now though; I'll just fill out her request.

My name is-

I open my jaws.

But no words come out.

My- my name is-

W-what? I just- I-

My name is-

My name is-

 _My name is_ -

…

"I don't k-know," I stammer, my eyes are stretched wide now, I'm staring at their paws, "I-I- I don't know."

"Come on, no games," she gives a roll of her eyes, but her words are slightly nervous, "You know your name, I mean, just answer- the questions will be over soon."

I just stare, I move my gaze to her face, their faces, but as my mind is racing -throbbing- I, I can't answer. _It's easy,_ she said. It is. It's just your name. Your name. My name. My. _Name_.

…

" _I don't know_."

Now her face is filled with genuine fear.

"Let's not panic-" the tom cuts in with a commanding tone, "Just continue asking her questions- she's only failed one."

The female and her companion give responses of agreement, but her nod is shaky an uncertain- her soft colored eyes are sparkling with fright.

"A-alright," she swallows, evening her tone, "Next question… Where are you?"

I look from one place to another, around me are bushes, above me are branches from trees reaching over the den; birds are chattering in the distance.

"I'm-" the two look hopeful, "I'm in a forest."

She frowns, and Meadowpool looks away, hiding her face. The stranger shakes her head.

"N-no. Specifically."

Specifically? I- I'm in the forest… which forest? I don't remember. I can't remember. Why can't I remember? How did I get I get here? Why don't I know what happened before this? Panic grips my chest. _I can't remember_.

"I don't know," I'm beginning to struggle to breath, my heart starts to pick up pace, "I-I can't remember."

Now all the color seems to drain away from her, she looks at me blankly.

"You- you-" her voice begins to raise, "N-no! You _know_ these things!" she obviously begins to panic, her speech is filled with fright, "You _know_ this! Your name is _Rainpetal_! You live _here_ , in Ruinclan! _You know this_!"

Meadowpool turns around, wrapping her tail around the other cat's shoulders. The she-cat turns her head to the brown queen, and Meadowpool exchanges a look to her. I- I don't know of what. My head- I can hear the blood pounding in my ears, sounds are beginning to jostle around in around my skull, the ringing is beginning to reform. Whatever it was- the dove colored she-cat returns it with a look of outrage and denial, pulling away.

"She- she's just barely woken up! There's no way she's forgotten _it all_!" the pale grey-cream she-cat turns back at me, I wish so much I could make her happy- I want to- just to utter a word that would mean that. But I can't. I don't who I am. It sounds insane, everyone around me does, but I just don't know. _I just don't know_.

"She couldn't have forgotten _everything_ \- I- She _has_ to remember something!" she stepped closer to me, her eyes were burning with erratic energy, "R-Rainpetal- you, you couldn't have forgotten _me_ , right? Y-you know me. Say my name- you know me; _I know you do_!"

I wish I could say yes.

I wish I could say it.

But I've never met this cat before.

I don't even know what they're talking about.

I- I may have forgotten somethings-

But there's no way I know her. I would remember her-

Yet I can't even remember my own name?

I don't know anymore.

But I wish I could say yes.

…

"I don't know," I choked, "I- I don't know you- I'm sorry. I don't know what you all are- are t-talking about," I lean my head down, placing my paws over my ears, tears brim my closed eyes as I start to cry, it's all so overwhelming, " _I don't know_!"

At first there was silence, I slowly peaked through my tear filled eyes. Great Star- Great S-Stars it's painful! My head, oh goodness the throbbing! It feels like my blood is on fire! It's drumming in my ears- at least there is silence. But-

" **A** AaaAaA **A** A **A** aA **A** aaAaaA **A** aA **A** **A** aAh!" a high pitched wail tore through the quiet, cracking with anguish and grief. It ended with loud, quick sobs as the she-cat lurched forward towards me, being pulled back by Meadowpool, whose expression was somber.

"No!" she cried, stopping her caterwauls, "You- No! Th-thi-this-s is-n-n't right! You have t-to be j-j-j-joking!" her sobs then morphed into a long wail, hiccups breaking the mournful cry every few seconds, " _You have to remember me…_ " the female dove her face into Meadowbrook's shoulder, her face wet with tears as she screamed loudly into her fur.

All I can feel is despair- seeing this cat crying, it's hurting me. I want to cry too, but I'm shocked, I'm scared, I'm so very confused, and my head… I can barely… barely…

Cold begins to creep up my trembling body, my head goes hot, and- and-

Darkness swallows my vision.


End file.
